Is Your Ego Ruining Your Life? 3 Strategies to Get Back on Track!

*Updated August 2024

Is your ego ruining your life? You might not realize it, but your ego may be working against you. And, it can prevent you from becoming the best, most successful version of yourself. But, there are ways to work with the ego so that you can thrive in every area of your life.

What is the Ego?

Simply stated, the ego is what you refer to as the “I.” It is how you see yourself. In other words, the ego is your personality, or the part of your mind that identifies with traits, beliefs, and habits. And, it’s what’s referred to as the conscious part of your mind.

The Purpose of the Ego

You are the creator of your ego which is a part of who you are. But, you are not your ego! Rather, the ego is a nonphysical form of protection that you mentally construct to survive in the world. However, your ego is not fixed. Through inner work, you can take charge of the ego and become mindful about how it affects your life.

Awakening of Ego

There are many misconceptions about the ego. For instance, when we say that someone has a big ego, we are usually referring to a person who is boastful and self-centered. However, a more comprehensive definition of ego is the human need to feel special through the attainment of material wealth, social status, or anything that makes you stand out.

It’s easy to identify ego in a person who is boastful and constantly talks about themselves. However, the ego can manifest in other ways. For instance, when someone attracts attention by complaining about an illness or is constantly embroiled in some type of drama, they are in the grip of ego.

Is Your Ego Ruining Your Life? 3 Strategies to Get Back on Track!

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Your can identify ego by listening to the negative voice in your head. For instance, when you compare yourself to another person, feel envious, not good enough, or better than someone else, you are operating at the level of ego. In addition, the ego judges others, worries incessantly, and makes you believe that you are separate from others.

The Ego in Action

When you complain, gossip, or argue to prove that you are right and someone else is wrong, this is the ego taking charge. Being in the grip of ego pulls you out of the present moment. And, because this is where all of your creative power lies, it can make you feel stuck and unhappy.

You can also witness someone else’s ego in action. For example, if you’re having a conversation with someone and they are not listening to you, but only waiting for an opening to speak, this is the ego.

When a person talks a lot about themselves, even if they’re putting themselves down, they’re bolstering their ego. And, whether someone is bragging or complaining, it is still the ego in action.

The Egoic Mind

Eckhart Tolle, spiritual leader and best-selling author, states, “The ego could be defined simply in this way: a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment.”

Here are some indicators of an egoic mind:

• repetitive thought patterns
• feelings of regret and guilt over events in the past
• being fearful and anxious about the future
• arguing with others
• having a me against you attitude
• needing to be right
• getting angry over small things, like being stuck in a traffic jam
• having enemies
• giving importance to what other people think of you
• comparing yourself to others
• secretly competing with other people
• trying to one up someone in some area: material wealth, job title, social status, etc.
• needing to be the center of attention
• using the word “I” to begin most sentences
• the voice in your head never stops.
• attempting to control people and situations so that you feel better

Chasing Happiness

Your ego wants you to believe that what you have is not enough. And, many people fall into the habit of looking outside of themselves to find happiness. And, this can have some unintended negative consequences.

For instance, some people go into debt to impress others. Or, they may need confirmation of self-worth, so they cheat on a partner, overshare on social media, or make decisions that don’t reflect who they truly are.

When you can identify the actions motivated by ego versus those that come from a more authentic place, you can make decisions that result in true joy.

The Ego is Not All Bad

Although the ego can cause you pain, it’s not all negative. It is there to protect you. Every difficult experience you have was put in your path to help you grow.

Nobody wants to suffer. But, suffering is the most effective tool you have to inspire emotional and spiritual growth. In times of deep sadness or emotional distress, you are forced turn inward for strength.

Your consciousness then becomes aware of itself and that’s when there’s a weakening of the ego and your awakening begins.

Believe in Yourself

This is a unique opening for you to become more conscious of the role ego plays in your life. As a result, you can take steps to live with greater intention. Your ego is only a part who you are. And, everything you need to succeed is already inside of you.

So, in order to stop letting your ego ruin your life, learn how to work with it. Start by strengthening your connection to self through yoga practice, meditation, or a daily sadhana. Ask yourself, does my life truly reflect my authentic self? Does it feel bring me the joy and peace I deserve. Then, let your response guide your journey.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Rumi

The Importance of “Me Time”

When you fully understand who you are, apart from your ego, your life might go in an entirely different direction. So, make “me time” non-negotiable. Pursue activities that elevate your life and get you closer to where you want to be. Think about what inspires you.

Whether you want to take your career to the next level, create more wealth, or deepen your personal relationships, there’s no better time than now!

Instead of being part of the crowd, why not distinguish yourself from it? If you’re not interested in doing something, simply say no. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Instead, be more concerned with how you feel about yourself. It won’t be comfortable at first, but life will always have its challenges. So, why not make it as rewarding as possible?

Take Action

Too often we look at others and think about how lucky they are. And, they may be! But, luck is simply the result of focused action, determination, and an unwavering belief in yourself. So, envision your perfect life, then take steps everyday toward achieving it. Invest in yourself. Be brave.

This shift will make the difference between living the life you’ve always dreamed versus staying exactly where you are now.

3 Action Steps to Take Now!

1. Make Purposeful Decisions

When your life becomes routine, you fail to see things for what they truly are. Therefore, every once in a while it’s worth viewing your life through fresh eyes.

Imagine that you are a stranger looking at your life for the first time. What’s working and what’s holding you back? If something or someone is not adding value to your life, you may need to make some tough decisions. If you can’t improve the situation, it might be time to cut ties and move on.

It’s amazing what happens when you let go of unhealthy situations or people. You will make room for the right people to enter. It may be difficult at first, but don’t back down! Things will begin to shift in the perfect time.

“We don’t realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

2. Be Kind to Yourself

Your ego wants to be noticed. Therefore, when you’re not totally present, (tired, hungry, overworked, hormonally challenged) the ego will take over. And when it does, don’t let it get you down! Authentic change takes time and practice. So, be kind to yourself.

This is also an ideal time to create a new vision board or incorporate a few positive affirmations into your routine. Meditation is another a wonderful way to create positive energy and bring peace into your life. When you make self care a priority, you’ll be at your best to care for your loved ones.

3. Spread the Love

Has anyone ever gone out of their way to do something kind for you? If so, you know how wonderful it feels. It creates space for you to pause and enjoy the present moment. So, why not do it for someone else?

Commit a random act of kindness, volunteer, or do something extra special for a friend. Focusing on others takes the pressure off of yourself. When you help someone, you feel joyful. And, connecting with others will remind you of the humanity we all share.

Growth and Change

Every once in a while it’s healthy to initiate change in your life. And, you will intuitively know when it’s time. So, gather your courage and make some bold decisions. You are not the same person you were ten years ago, or even one year ago, and you shouldn’t be! Making purposeful changes, even when it’s uncomfortable or scary, will help you to reclaim your power.

I’d love to hear from you. What life changes have you made that have been effective in overcoming ego? Has this had positive effects on your life? Sharing your experience will help other readers. Leave your comment below.

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Disclosure: Melissa Damiani is a participant in the Routine Probiotic Affiliate Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to merchant, and the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking amazon.com. Although I only promote products that I love, use, and have confidence in, always do your own research before purchasing any product or service. Read my disclaimer here.