Do You Have Low Self-Esteem? Use These 5 Effective Techniques to Raise It Now!

*Updated September 2024

Do you have low self-esteem? Low self-esteem can be hard to recognize because it’s part of your identity and self-concept. However, if you struggle to get the things in life that you want and deserve, you might have low self-esteem.

The good news is that you can raise your self-esteem and attract wonderful people and circumstances into your life starting today!

Keep reading if you are ready to and increase the quality of your life and your relationships by using these 5 effective techniques!

What is Self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you see yourself. When you see yourself in a positive light, have self-respect, and confidence, you have healthy self-esteem. This allows you to develop an inner strength and a strong connection to self, which gives you insight into what you need to live a high-quality life.

According to an article by Mind website, “Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence.”

Having healthy self-esteem means being able to express your needs and emotions assertively. It also means being confident in your decision-making skills and showing resilience in the face of difficult situations. Ultimately, a person with high self-esteem has a hopeful attitude toward life.

Having low self-esteem can be difficult to identify, but it can have a negative impact on every area of your life. If you are frequently unhappy, have relationship problems, or often put yourself down, you may have low self-esteem.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Buddha

Childhood and Self-Esteem

Parents and caregivers are responsible for helping you develop self-esteem by teaching you how to care for yourself. If that didn’t happen, you may have lacked the skill set needed to build self-esteem. However, any sustained negative behavior can result in low self-esteem. For instance, low self-esteem can develop if you were bullied or had a difficult upbringing.

As a child, you learn how to have healthy relationships by watching your parents and other trusted adults. They teach you what love looks like, how to set safe, healthy boundaries, and how to love yourself. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen as it should.

If your parents were abusive, codependent, addicted, mentally ill, fear-based, or denial-based, your ideas about love can be skewed. As a result, you may struggle to develop functional relationships, which can lead to a lack of self-esteem.

Other Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Although low self-esteem is oftentimes rooted in childhood experiences, it can also develop later in life. There are a variety of factors that can cause low self-esteem. According to an article by Better Health Channel, the causes of low self-esteem may include the following:

• Unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical
• Poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence
• Ongoing stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble
• Poor treatment from a partner, parent or care taker, for example, being in an abusive relationship
• Ongoing medical problem such as chronic pain, serious illness or physical disability
• Mental illness such as an anxiety disorder or depression

But, having low self-esteem is not your fault. The good news is that you can take steps to re-parent your inner child and rebuild your self-esteem!

Do You Have Low Self-Esteem?

Here are some questions to help you determine if you have low self-esteem:

• Do you genuinely like and value yourself?
• Can assert yourself and make decisions independently?
• Do you try new or difficult things?
• Do you show kindness towards yourself?
• Can you move beyond mistakes without blaming or criticizing yourself unfairly?
• Do you recognize your strengths?
• Do you make time for self care?
• Do you truly believe you matter?
• Do you know that you are good enough?
• Do you think you deserve a happy, abundant life?

Healthy vs. Low Self-Esteem

Do You Have Low Self-Esteem? 5 Effective Techniques to Raise It Now!

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Low self-esteem can cause discord in every area of your life, especially in relationships. It can be incredibly painful. But this pain can serve as a catalyst for change, and inspire you to take the first step in creating a life based on self-confidence, self-love, and self-esteem. Here are five techniques you can use now to raise your self-esteem.

1. Accept Yourself for Who You Are

Accepting yourself for who you are means that you genuinely like yourself, even when things are going wrong in your life. It also means that you feel good about yourself, even if you regret some of your past behavior. When you accept yourself, you can acknowledge your mistakes without berating yourself, and you can make adjustments to improve your future.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that you don’t want to change. It simply means that you have a healthy awareness of who you are and that you honestly acknowledge and accept your strengths and weaknesses.

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

Mark Twain

3 Ways to Accept Yourself

Accepting yourself for who you are can be challenging. However, there are steps you can take to make it easier. One is to change your internal dialogue. Another is to forgive yourself for your mistakes. And finally, challenge your negative self-beliefs.

Change your internal dialogue. 

The first step to silencing your inner critic is to observe your thoughts. Reframe them to be constructive and helpful, or simply observe them and let them go. Dwelling on negative thoughts can lead to a cascade of similar thoughts and a negative headspace. Choose the thoughts you want to have and change your inner dialogue.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. 

Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay because it’s part of being human. Mistakes are valuable because they teach us what we want and don’t want. They also help us steer clear of what doesn’t feel good. No one is all good or all bad, so don’t beat yourself up if you did something in the past that you regret. And remember, doing something good doesn’t make you perfect either.

Challenge your negative self-beliefs. 

If you have low self-esteem, it’s likely that you have outdated beliefs about yourself that are holding you back from reaching your highest potential. You may have formed these beliefs as a child, based on how you were treated by your parents, teachers, and other adults. If there was dysfunction in your family, you may not have gotten what you needed to develop a healthy sense of self.

But, it’s up to you to let go of who you think you are, change the narrative, and tell the story of your future self. Then, project that image outward.

2. Set Boundaries

Understanding how to establish healthy boundaries is an empowering first step in developing a strong sense of self-esteem. Begin by assessing your feelings in the presence of certain individuals. If being in someone’s presence evokes negative emotions and makes you feel uncomfortable, trust your intuition.

When you’re ready to raise your self-esteem, it helps to start by understanding what’s holding you back. One way to do this is to keep a journal and make note of your triggers. This is a time of self-inquiry and discovery that can help you understand yourself better and take the next steps toward raising your self-esteem.

Reflect on the interaction and consider the feelings that arose during the encounter. Determine whether a boundary was crossed, and if so, which boundary. Take the time to process your feelings and be grateful for this act of self-care and newfound awareness. Ultimately, you must decide whether a change in the relationship is necessary or whether you need to terminate the relationship altogether.

The ability to differentiate between individuals with malicious intent and those who challenge you in a manner that is healthy for you is essential. If an individual is acting from a position of love and respect for your boundaries, you will intuitively recognize it. They may simply be concerned about your well-being and genuinely attempting to assist you. In this situation, all that is required is an open and honest dialogue to express your feelings and resolve the issue.

If spending time with a particular person always lifts your spirits and makes you feel good, then see them more often. This is a great way to honor your feelings and strengthen your inner guidance system. And, this builds healthy self-esteem!

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”

Iyanla Vanzant

3. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are extremely popular and they sound like a great idea. However, if used incorrectly, they can make people with low self-esteem feel even worse. That’s because when your self-esteem is low, you’re not going to believe them.

To create effective positive affirmations, you must be clear about what is desired and believe that it is attainable. Begin by setting small, achievable goals. Success builds confidence, which allows one to pursue larger goals. Changing ingrained thought patterns and rewiring the brain requires practice. However, following these guidelines will help you create powerful statements that will elevate your self-esteem.

Guidelines

1. Always use the present tense.

2. Treat them as factual and true statements.

3. Use words and phrases that are meaningful to you.

4. Choose positive, high energy words and phrases.

5. Behave as if you want is already yours!

For example, “I am so grateful and happy now that I have a new high-paying job that I enjoy.”

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is a wonderful resource for learning more about how positive affirmations can work in your life. It offers practical advice and exercises for developing affirmations that are meaningful and effective.

4. Build Positive Relationships

When you have low self-esteem, it can be difficult to recognize the people in your life who are not good for you. These people may not be intentionally trying to harm you, but their words or actions can make you feel bad about yourself.

As you become more aware of these relationships, you will learn who to avoid. In some cases, it may even be necessary to cut certain people out of your life for good. That’s okay! Instead, seek out relationships with people who are positive and truly appreciate you. Spending time with those who inspire you, and appreciate all of your wonderful qualities, will help you build self-esteem.

Assert Yourself

When you start setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself, there will be consequences. Be prepared for whatever comes next.

When you start setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself in an unhealthy relationship, be prepared for the other person to get angry or try to emotionally punish you. This is a clear indication that they are not ready to honor and respect your feelings. It could also be a sign that they have a narcissistic personality disorder.

In a healthy relationship, the other person will want to know your boundaries and respect them. You might even find that some people in your life will start working on healing their own insecurities so they can build a healthier relationship with you.

5. Challenge Your Thinking

When you have low self-esteem, it can be hard to recognize your own worth and value. You may find yourself making assumptions about what others are thinking, or you might downplay any positive thoughts you have about yourself.

The good news is that only you can change how you act! Don’t let that negative voice in your head or your ego run wild. Instead, find a positive thought or just stay neutral. Remember, you are the author of your own story.

Learning to stay mentally strong in the face of difficulty is a lot like developing a new muscle. It takes practice, but it can be done. Exercise your brain every day to cultivate positive thinking. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake, and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments. These are key ways to raise low self-esteem!

You are Not Your Circumstances

Having the ability to differentiate between your circumstances versus who you truly are is key to your self-worth. Unfortunately, people with low self-esteem often have a victim mentality, which keeps them stuck in a negative cycle. But you can change your thinking and your life by using these five effective techniques to raise your self-esteem now!

Self-destructive thoughts and feelings of unworthiness can be unlearned. By following the steps outlined above, you can understand who you truly are, what you need, and how to get there. All human beings have equal worth, and the belief that you are anything less is completely false.

Creating a New You

When you have high self-esteem, you honor yourself, your feelings, and your unique purpose for being here. And, when you have high self-esteem, your reality will reflect this in every way! Now, is the time to put these steps into practice and create the life you were meant to live!

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? How has it affected your life? What are some of the ways you’ve tried to re-establish your sense of self and build self-esteem? Sharing your story can help our community, so we’d love to hear from you!

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Disclosure: Melissa Damiani is a participant in the Routine Probiotics Program an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to merchant, and the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking amazon.com. Although I only promote products that I love, use, and have confidence in, always do your own research before purchasing any product or service. Read my disclaimer here.