Transform Your Midlife Crisis: 4 Things I Stopped Doing in Midlife
*Updated February 2025
Midlife, a time of incredible potential! It’s supposed to be the chapter where we savor the rewards of our journey, right? Yet, sometimes, it can feel like a rollercoaster of change – the physical shifts, the emotional tides, the logistics of an empty nest or retirement… it’s a lot to navigate.
But here’s the exciting part: you have the power to steer this ship! There are four powerful things I stopped doing in midlife, and they’ve completely transformed my life. I’m sharing them with you because midlife isn’t about surviving, it’s about thriving!
Let’s dive in and discover how you can reclaim your joy, your energy, and your vibrant self. Ready to make this phase the BEST yet?
50 is the New 50
Is 50 the new 40? Hmm, as someone who’s crossed that threshold, I’d say: absolutely not! Don’t get me wrong, I adored my 40s, but there’s a profound richness that only comes with the decades we’ve lived. Every wrinkle, every grey hair, every lesson learned – they’re all badges of honor, testaments to the incredible journey we’ve been on.
This new decade? It’s a time to savor. To truly appreciate the incredible tapestry of life we’ve woven. And you know what’s been a game-changer for me? A deep well of gratitude has opened up, overflowing with appreciation for even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant moments.
Plus, a whole new level of compassion has blossomed within me. I’m realizing we’re all on our own unique paths, navigating this beautiful, messy life. So, I’m embracing the journey, respecting the journeys of others, and finding joy in every single day. How about you? Has this milestone changed you too?
Midlife Redefined
Midlife is OUR time to shine! It’s a chance to rewrite the script and redefine what’s possible. Forget those outdated expectations, because this is where we get to create our own masterpiece!
My own journey took off when I dared to ditch the limitations and embrace my authentic self. It was a leap of faith, a shedding of old skins, and the most exhilarating experience. The result? A complete transformation. I rediscovered my fire, unleashed my true potential, and now live with a purpose and passion that ignites every single day.
Let’s step into this incredible chapter together and design a midlife that is uniquely, gloriously, and authentically us.
Transform Your Midlife Crisis: 4 Things I Stopped Doing in Midlife
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Midlife is calling, and it’s whispering promises of adventure, freedom, and a whole lot of self-discovery. But sometimes, we get stuck in patterns that hold us back. So, I’m sharing the FOUR game-changing things I stopped doing in midlife.
Get ready, because these little shifts have a big impact. Are you ready to transform your midlife crisis and unlock a life that’s even richer, more authentic, and utterly YOU?
1. I stopped caring about what other people thought of me (for real).
In my earlier years, I found myself endlessly worrying about what others thought of me. Can you relate? It was exhausting! Then I had a breakthrough: people will always judge based on their own perspectives and beliefs, and that’s something we simply can’t control. By fixating on their opinions, I was unintentionally giving away my power and stunting my own growth.
Fast forward to today, and I’ve flipped the script! Now, I prioritize how I feel about myself above all else. That inner compass has become my guiding light, leading me toward a life that’s vibrant and fulfilling.
This mindset shift was one of the key things I let go of in midlife, and let me tell you, it has been life-changing! Embracing this new outlook not only strengthened my relationship with myself but also allowed me to blossom into a happier, more resilient version of me. Let’s celebrate that power together, shall we?
Stay True to Yourself
In this age of constant connection, the digital buzz of social media can sometimes feel… overwhelming. Gossip, the ever-present echo chamber of judgment, and the quickness to label, it’s everywhere. Negativity can sting, especially when it’s directed at us. It can stir up drama and cloud our inner peace.
But here’s the secret to transform your midlife crisis: you have the power to rewrite the script! When I launched this blog, not everyone was cheering me on. But I knew I had to honor my own voice and be true to myself. It taught me a powerful lesson: to celebrate the courage of others, even when I didn’t fully understand their path. Because, let’s be honest, the path of a woman in midlife is unique and beautiful!
The freedom that comes from staying true to yourself, from honoring the unique gifts you bring to this world, is immeasurable. Choose to meet every experience with love, compassion, and unwavering self-belief. Embrace the messy, the beautiful, and the authentic – that’s where true joy resides.
“What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”
Wayne W. Dyer
Inner Strength & Compassion
We’ve all been there – that sting of an unkind comment or a sideways compliment that tries to dim your sparkle. Here’s a secret weapon I’ve adopted: I no longer let those jabs steal my energy. Instead, I find myself actually feeling a sense of compassion for the person choosing to spend their precious time trying to bring me down. Seriously, think about it: their negativity is a reflection of their own inner struggles, not your worth!
And the biggest game-changer? Once I stopped caring about what others thought, my life exploded with positivity. The people who thrived on judgment and criticism simply faded away, and the authentic, supportive connections flourished.
It’s like a beautiful clearing in the forest, where sunshine and growth can finally reach you. How about you? Are you ready to release the grip of others’ opinions and step into your own radiant truth?
Validation
For far too long, we’ve been conditioned to seek validation and direction from others. We seek the opinions of loved ones, friends, and even strangers, as if they hold the key to our happiness. But here’s the thing: they don’t. They can only tell you what they’d do if they were in your shoes, not what’s truly best for you.
Asking for advice can become a crutch, masking an inability to listen to our own intuition. It can be a sign of people-pleasing, codependency, and a lack of self-trust. And, darling, it’s time transform your midlife crisis!
You are the expert in your own life. Your inner voice, your intuition, and your inner guidance system have been whispering answers to you all along. Trust that inner wisdom! Silence the external chatter and tune into the whispers of your soul.
There’s no right or wrong decision; only experiences that will shape and teach you. And, sweet friend, you are always evolving, always growing. Every choice, every outcome, and every lesson will bring you closer to your highest self.
So, let this be the moment you choose to transform your midlife crisis. Let your inner voice be the one you turn to, not external opinions or expectations.
2. I stopped judging everything.
Let’s talk about a game-changer: mindfulness. When I started practicing, I realized I was guilty of one of the sneakiest habits – judging everything! Yes, you read that right – even the weather! It’s astonishing how quickly our minds can spin out of control, isn’t it?
But here’s the thing: we’re not our thoughts. We’re not even our emotions. We’re powerful, vibrant women, capable of choosing how we show up in the world. The constant chatter in our minds is just that – a mental loop that’s not reflecting our true nature. And the best news? We can break free from it!
As we navigate this beautiful chapter of midlife, let’s make a conscious choice to shift our focus inward. What would happen if we stopped judging ourselves and others? What would happen if we chose to cultivate compassion, kindness, and understanding instead? The world – and our own lives – would likely be a brighter, more loving place, and we’d feel the freedom to be our authentic, amazing selves.
So, what’s holding you back from embracing the power of mindfulness and choosing a more gentle, loving way of being?
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
Earl Nightingale
3. I stopped agreeing to things that weren’t good for my soul.
For years, I never quite felt like I “fit” anywhere, which was fine. I was always comfortable blazing my own trail. But something shifted in my mid-forties. I became fiercely selective. No more pretending to be interested just to please! It was time to live authentically, even if it meant going against the grain.
Honestly, it wasn’t a breeze at first. So many conversations felt like a cycle of complaints and gossip. I had nothing to add, so I became an expert listener! And, I learned a brilliant trick for connecting with others: ask about their passions. People light up when they talk about what they love.
Now, when someone invites me to something that doesn’t spark joy, I simply and kindly say, “That’s not something I’m interested in right now.” No long explanations needed. It’s incredibly empowering! (Of course, I’m always open to suggesting something we both might enjoy!). Your circle might shrink, but the quality of your life? It will skyrocket!
Here’s the beautiful thing: we ALL have the freedom to design our own journeys. So, give yourself permission, right now, to be unapologetically you. You’ll be amazed at the incredible new doors that swing open when you embrace your true self! It’s time to transform your midlife crisis!
“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”
Lalah Delia
So, here are some examples to transform your midlife crisis.
These are the changes that brought me from a feeling of being “stuck” to truly THRIVING in midlife. They’re simple shifts, but the impact has been HUGE!
First, I traded screen time for soul time. Goodbye, mindless TV! Hello, books, journaling, and chasing my curiosity! This small change unlocked a whole new world of creativity and learning.
Then, I redefined my relationship with alcohol. I’m not saying “no” forever, but an occasional glass of wine feels so much better than the regular habit I had. My energy levels and overall well-being soared!
Next, I silenced the negativity. No more gossip or endless complaining! I leaned into mindfulness, consciously choosing to focus on positive energy and building good karma. It’s amazing how this simple shift transforms your relationships and your outlook.
This one was HUGE: I embraced acceptance. Instead of judging others, I remind myself that everyone is on their own unique path. This practice has brought me so much peace and understanding, not just towards others but towards myself, too.
And finally, I curated my life with intention. I protect my energy and my heart. I steer clear of anything that contributes to negativity, cruelty, or chaos. Instead, I actively fill my life with joy, positivity, and experiences that lift me up!
These changes aren’t about perfection, they’re about creating a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. Who’s with me? Let’s share our own midlife transformations!
4. I stopped caring about things that didn’t matter.
Remember that younger version of you? The one who sweated the small stuff, riding emotional rollercoasters over life’s little bumps? I get it – I was right there with you! Back then, those everyday dramas felt overwhelming. We let circumstances dictate our moods, our worth, even our happiness. It was exhausting, wasn’t it?
But now? We’re in the driver’s seat. We’re tuned in to what truly matters: those precious moments with family and friends, igniting our passions, cuddling our furry companions, and maybe even exploring a new corner of the world.
One of the most liberating things I stopped doing in midlife? Caring about the trivial. And let me tell you, it’s a game-changer. It opened the door to a happier, healthier, and so much more carefree me.
Self-Acceptance: The Ultimate Midlife Gift
Oh, the validation game! We’ve all been there, letting others hold the keys to our feelings, measuring our worth based on their approval. Looking back, I have so much compassion for that younger self, chasing a mirage of perfection. We somehow believed life was supposed to unfold perfectly, didn’t we? We let the outside world be our emotional GPS.
Seriously, what were we thinking?! Seeking joy and acceptance from outside ourselves? It feels utterly bonkers now! The truth is, authentic joy is an inside job. And when we finally realized that? Everything shifted.
Stopping this one thing in midlife has unlocked a level of joy and confidence I never dreamed possible. How about you? What have you let go of to transform your midlife crisis?
The Big Life Questions
Embrace this incredible chapter! This isn’t just a phase; it’s a journey of growth, self-discovery, and vibrant living. Remember, when we know better, we do better! Now, let’s focus on cultivating the quality of our lives – and let’s make it extraordinary. To guide me, I ask myself these key questions:
- What activities make me feel most alive and engaged?
- What values do I most want to uphold in my life right now?
- How can I make space for self-care and prioritize my well-being?
- What kind of impact do I want to make in the world, and how can I start making it happen?
- What new experiences or adventures am I eager to embark on?
I’m taking stock of all those amazing life lessons I’ve collected, and a deep well of gratitude is bubbling up. Gone are the days of relentlessly criticizing myself and others. Every sunrise brings me closer to my truest, most authentic self. And honestly? A lot of that magic happened the moment I started letting go in midlife.
The Possibilities Are Endless…
Now, it’s about doing things purely for the joy of it, without the noise of outside expectations. Years of trial, error, and self-discovery have led me right here, to a place of real, unshakeable footing. I’m completely smitten with the woman I’ve become and the life I’ve built – wouldn’t trade it for all the tea in China!
You hold the pen to your own storyand transform your midlife crisis. No matter what chapters have come before, you have the power to rewrite, reinvent, and craft your own happy ending. When you finally grasp those pivotal life lessons that only you can learn, the doors to unlimited possibilities fly open.
Transform Your Midlife Crisis
You, my friend, are special, unique and whole. You are here for a reason, a purpose that’s uniquely yours. Are you ready for this thrilling next act? Time to summon that inner warrior and step into the sunshine! An incredible, fresh new chapter is waiting just for you. Embrace it!
So, how are you transforming your midlife moments? What did you shed that brought you freedom? Did any of the things I stopped doing resonate? Spill the tea! Share your wisdom. Let’s spark a conversation and build each other up! Comment below!
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Disclosure: Melissa Damiani is a participant in the Routine Probiotics Affiliate Program an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to merchant, and the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking amazon.com. Although I only promote products that I love, use, and have confidence in, always do your own research before purchasing any product. Read my disclaimer here.
Melissa Damiani
Melissa Damiani has a BA in Psychology and an M.Ed in Education. She is a wellness blogger and a personal coach who lives in New England with her husband and three fur babies. She enjoys reading, writing, practicing yoga, being in nature, British and medieval history, and all things Italian.
35 Comments
Christiline Johnson
Wow Melissa, This article is phenomenal. Everything you say is real. I love this article as it speaks to the truth to us females as we age and get more experiences with life. I have implemented some of these already but I am ready to heed some of those you gave personal view of. Thanks for an excellent article.
Melissa Damiani
Hello Christiline, Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments! I strive to put my heart and soul into each and every article. And, I especially did so for this particular one. It was actually very cathartic to share my feelings and the midlife lessons I’ve learned. So, it makes me especially happy that you were able to connect with it on a deeper level. Please keep reading for more midlife inspiration. Thanks again for reaching out! With gratitude, Melissa xo
Kate
This article spoke to my soul 🥰! Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom!
Melissa Damiani
Hi Kate, I’m so happy to hear that! I wish you the very best on your midlife journey. Please keep reading…
With Gratitude,
Melissa xo
Kara Herron
Thank you so much for this article. I’m 58, and I’ve been an entrepreneur with a specific company for 12 years. I’m starting to think about switching things up, which is a scary thing. But, I’m not happy anymore, and many of the things you’ve mentioned resonated with me. Lots for me to think about. 🙂 I hope it’s ok that I shared this article with my private FB group, A Process of Refinement. 🙂
-Kara
Melissa Damiani
Hi Kara, Thanks so much for reaching out! I’m so glad my article resonated with you. This particular article tends to speak to many women and for that I am truly grateful. I understand exactly how you feel. I made some big changes at about 48 and I was terrified. It was a bumpy road for a few years. I had to learn how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable (which I never really did, lol). But, things did get better and although it was a challenging time in many ways, I learned so much about myself and became a stronger, more resilient person. I also learned to let go (a bit more) and trust the process. I wish you the best moving forward in whatever you choose to do! And, please…share away!!! I would love that! Many thanks! Sincerely, Melissa xo
Tanja / Minimaattori
“So, is 50 the new 40? For one, I truly hope not. Personally, I’ve worked hard to get to where I am now and I wouldn’t choose to go back.”
This is exactly how I feel too. Ofc I feel my body getting older, but I never ever would go back and give away things I’ve learned in life.
Also, those negative emotions as judging are only hurting ourselves. This is indeed why to practice mindfulness.
Melissa Damiani
Thank you for your insightful comment! I totally agree…mindfulness (and gratitude) are key at this stage of life. Thanks so much for reaching out!
Sincerely, Melissa
Brigette Rafffels
THANK YOU! I started my transformation just after I turned 50 and then I suddenly hit a wall now at 55. I thank you for reminding me that I must go within . I know I’m different than my “friends” but I have found me a new “tribe, but still I felt I had to hold.on to them so they don’t think bad of me but for years being in their company made me feel bad about myself. I thank you again for this reminder that I’m fine and I’m where I’m suppose to be and what happened to me was lessons and and adding to my life lessons . My scares are my reminders of how I have grown.
Melissa Damiani
Hello Brigette, You’re very welcome! I’m so happy that my article resonated with you! Sometimes a simple reminder can be just what you need to continue on your path with confidence. Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing your story. With gratitude, Melissa xo
Christy
Thank you, this article really resonated with me. Coincidentally, i am turning 54 in December also. It has been a difficult year for me adjusting to all my body changes but am making good strides now. One thing i struggle with is the not giving the negative stuff a place in my head and by negative i mean all the crappy stuff going on in the world. I try to be positive but am, I suppose, too empathic. I find it hard to turn off and only concentrate on positive. Where do you find a balance? I don’t want to ignore these things and be uninformed either.
Melissa Damiani
Hi Christy, thank you so much for reaching out. I’m glad you’re making progress with all of the physical changes. I have gotten to a good place too and I’m beyond grateful for that!💃
As an empath and a HSP, I completely understand. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t watch news anymore. And, I am selective about what I watch and read in general. I research what interests me, or what I feel is an important issue, from sources I trust.
I’ve been doing this for a while now and it hasn’t left me feeling uninformed, as I was concerned about as well. So, that’s my take on it. I hope it helps!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. And, I hope you will keep reading!
With gratitude, Melissa xo
Erin
Hi there,
There is so much truth in all that you have mentioned about what we say, do and allow ourselves to endure from our surrounding influences. I am turning 54 and have recently realized how important it is to stop some convenient routines and step up to take better care of me, regardless of the extra push I may have to give myself.
Saying, doing and constant worry over achieving what makes others happy is exhausting and the only person that is unhappy, drained and exhausted is myself. Only myself to blame, time to stop the cycle.
Keep up the positive outlook and enjoy each day, life is good! 🙂
Melissa Damiani
Hello Erin, I am turning 54 soon, too!😊 Thank you for reaching out and for your insight. It’s always a good thing to prioritize self care, even if it feels indulgent or like a lot of work! Lol. I’m so glad you reached out. Thanks again and keep reading! With gratitude, Melissa
Anne Stevens
Please sign me up for your newsletter
Melissa Damiani
Will do Anne! Thank you!
With Gratitude,
Melissa
Michaelann
Thank you for your post. At 52 I have finally accepted that I have started going through “IT”. And my ups and downs have been off the chart. I have been reading for things to do to help me and came across your post. It really made me think that it is time to do things for me and to make certain changes for my life to be better than before. Thank you for your post and your thoughts and ideas. This gives me a great place to start this new ” change” in my life and hopefully get a control on it. Thank you again.
Melissa Damiani
Hi Michaelann, I am so happy to hear that my post has been helpful to you on your journey! I’ll be 54 in November. And, going through this phase of life, I realize even more fully how important it is to make purposeful and meaningful changes (as we change). It can be a daily practice, but I continually remind myself to take a pro-active approach in every area of my life. I also have to say that entering midlife/menopause is actually a lot more challenging for me (and I’m sure many women) than I realized it would be. So, I appreciate you reaching out so much! Please continue to read and share with friends. Best of luck to you! With gratitude, Melissa xo
Pamela
What a great article. Many areas resonate with me. At 58 I’m really starting to take stock of what this decade has taught me as I head into my 60’s.
Melissa Damiani
Hi Pamela, Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it and that it resonated with you! This decade (my 50’s) has certainly been an interesting one! It’s caused me to dig a bit deeper and reflect a lot more! Lol. Best of luck as you enter into a new, and hopefully wonderful phase of life. Thanks again and keep reading. 🙂
With gratitude,
Melissa xo
Tina
This is a really helpful blog post. I’m 53 and in a process of reassessment, since my last child left for college a couple of years ago. I think your instructions on judgement are so helpful because we judge each other and ourselves so much. I’m also grateful that you mentioned not doing things that you aren’t interested in. This has been huge for me. And yes, my circle is smaller but I feel freer and happier letting go of things that held no joy for me. Thank you for so much insight!
Melissa Damiani
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment Tina. It’s wonderful to connect to other likeminded people who are in a similar life situation. And, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone! Entering into this stage of my life has been both daunting and incredibly healing and beautiful. And, I’m glad to see you’re on that same path. Namaste, Melissa ☺️
Catarina Monge
Great read! Once I hit 40, I was like “Yes! I’m finally an adult!”
No longer is midlife “over the hill”, rather it’s the better stretch of the road our life is on.
Melissa Damiani
Hi Catarina, I love the way you put that, and I totally agree! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reaching out! Sincerely, Melissa
Marshalee
Thank you so much for sharing these amazing tips. I’ll definitely keep these in mind for when I hit my 40s. 🙏🏾
Melissa Damiani
Hi Marshalee, You’re very welcome! Thank you for reaching out…I’m so glad you found these tips helpful! Love, Melissa xo
Judith
Before reading this post, I thought ‘here we go another post about make yourself feel good.’ Yep, pre-judging. AFTER, reading this, IT WAS GREAT. I’m not quite there but at 42, I’m making it a point to be more my true self. A lot of your points resonate with me and I totally agree with you. Thank you for this post. I always believe things are put in your path for a reason. Even if it’s just a post. #NewSubscriber
Melissa Damiani
Hi Judith, I just updated my post and was reading through the comments. I thought I responded to you but I didn’t see it here. I just wanted you to know how much I loved and appreciated this one. I try really hard to go deeper and give my readers a rich experience. So, thank you for acknowledging that and for reaching out. Much love to you! Melissa
Kayce
I’ve always been told I’m an old soul at heart and when I turned 40 last year that’s how I felt. I felt like well I got 20 more good years left and that’s it. How depressing! I wanted to feel good, feel like a new person. Make these years worth it. I was researching how to meditate and came across this blog and I love every bit of it. I’ve been telling myself for months to just be myself and do what I want to do and enjoy. So thank you for speaking for all of us. I’m bookmarking this so I can always refer back to it.
Melissa Damiani
Hi Kayce,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful insights and kind words. I am always so grateful when my thoughts and words reach like-minded people. I continually remind myself that our purpose here is to keep growing, learning and moving forward with grace despite the challenges we face. It’s definitely a daily practice and one that can be quite difficult at times. I am so happy you reached out! And, if I could give a bit of advice from my 54 year old perspective…the 40’s are an incredible decade. Relish every moment! With love and gratitude, Melissa
Julia
I just loved this: “I don’t participate in anything that hurts people or animals, or anything that adds to the chaos, violence, or negativity of the world”.
This just sums everything up!
Melissa Damiani
Hi Julia, Thank you so much! I think sometimes we just go with the flow, or the status quo, without deeply thinking about how our choices may impact the world. Thank you for the thoughtful comment and the support. I hope you are enjoying my blog! ♥️ With gratitude, Melissa
Andrea
This post really resonated with me. I love the idea of a middle-aged awakening and learning to be unapologetically yourself. As a 48 year-old woman, I am grappling with the same issues.
Peggy Alderman-Barnas
I found this article at a perfect time in my life. Thank you for for inspiration & advice. Looking forward to future reading. 🤍 Peggy
Melissa Damiani
Hi Peggy, You actually sent this kind message of inspiration to ME at the perfect time lol! So thank you for that! I’m so happy that this article resonated with you. It was thoughtful of you to reach out! Enjoy!!! With Gratitude, Melissa xo 💙