3 Life Skills Codependents and Empaths Need to Thrive!

*Updated August 2024

Codependents and empaths need to cultivate 3 specific life skills in order to have a happy, healthy life and thrive in relationships. You may be wondering if you have codependent or empathic traits. Whether you exhibit one or both personality types, it’s important to know the difference.

Broadly stated, codependent personalities have an undefined sense of self and the need to fix other people. And, an empath is a person who is able to feel and understand what others are feeling. They also experience emotions on a deeper level and take on the feelings of others.

Empaths may be codependent, but the term empath should not be used interchangeably with a codependent person. However, you can be both: an empath with a codependent personality. So, let’s break it down.

Empaths

An empath is someone with an almost psychic ability to pick up on the mental or emotional state of another person. Empaths are highly sensitive to other people’s energy. An empath may often feel like they need a physical shield when in a toxic environment or large crowd.

In a conversation, an empath is highly attuned to what you are not saying, as opposed to what you are. Empaths have a keen sense of observation and often read between the lines in conversations. They quickly get a sense of how you feel about them, regardless of your words or actions.

In addition, empaths are hypersensitive to everything happening around them which causes them to feel overwhelmed in certain situations. As a result, they may minimize social interactions and will regularly schedule alone time to rejuvenate their spirit.

An empath also has a tendency to minimize their own feelings because they are acutely aware of how others feel. And, because empaths react intensely to how someone feels about them, they may come across as too accommodating or overly welcoming.

As a result, many empaths have a hard time setting healthy boundaries. Due to their generous, often vulnerable, nature, they attract narcissistic personalities and other emotionally wounded people into their lives. As a result, empaths often wonder why they find themselves in harmful, dysfunctional relationships.

Empathy Fatigue

Too much empathy, or empathy fatigue, can be detrimental to your well-being. When you lead with your heart rather than your head, you tend to make poor decisions in relationships. As an empath, you may ignore the potential long-term consequences of your actions and lose perspective of what is best for you.

The Gift of Empathy

But, the news is not all bad! It’s an exquisite gift to be an empath and one that should be shared with the world. Empaths possess the unique ability to support people in a deep and meaningful way. Unfortunately, empaths have the tendency to hide their true nature for fear of being mocked or ridiculed. However, when an empath can finally push beyond the fear, they have an incredible opportunity to help and to inspire others.

Codependent Personality

A person with a codependent personality feels responsible for rescuing others. Frequently, they find themselves jumping in to lift someone’s mood or help someone out of a difficult situation. In a romantic relationship, this instinctive behavior will become more intense. As a result, they often enable a narcissistic personality type or codependent partner to indulge in unhealthy, underachieving, or addictive behaviors.

If you have a codependent personality, you were conditioned to react this way in childhood, most likely due to experiencing abandonment, abuse, or neglect at a young age. You learned that love is conditional and has to be earned. The concept of unconditional love isn’t something you understand or even believe is possible. As a result, if you are good enough (pretty enough, smart enough, wealthy enough) you can “earn” the love of another person.

The codependent person desperately craves validation and will even behave in destructive ways that go against their true nature to gain love and acceptance. This cycle will repeat until it is recognized and intentionally broken by the codependent person.

Quite often, they unconsciously attract other codependent or narcissist personality types into their life. This only reinforces their commitment to be better, do better in order to “earn” another person’s love. And, a person with a narcissist personality disorder can spot this insecurity almost immediately, and will always take advantage of the codependent person’s need for validation.

Codependent personalities often fall prey to the belief that the chemistry they feel with a partner with a narcissist personality disorder is true love, or even a soulmate experience. However, over time, this relationship will become painful and abusive. Inevitably, the codependent person will feel broken and recognize the relationship as dysfunctional, unhealthy, and one-sided. They often wonder why they keep attracting the same type of person into their life.

Empath with a Codependent Personality

An empath with a codependent personality does not only feel other people’s emotions intensely, they dive right in to make everything better, often at their own expense! And, because they haven’t been taught how to set healthy boundaries, they often create chaos in their own life.

Although you may be an empath or have a codependent personality, you are not here to be a guardian angel. Everyone is on their own unique journey with their own lessons to learn. So, there is no need to assume the role of a protector and try to make life easier for others. Instead, respect your loved ones by allowing them to face the consequences of their actions.

It is not your fault if someone in your life is depressed, addicted, has anger issues, or self-harms. You do not, and honestly cannot, control them. So, stop blaming yourself for the experiences they create in their own lives.

3 Life Skills Codependents and Empaths Need to Thrive!

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Codependents and empaths can change unhealthy patterns and go on to have healthy, loving relationships. There are some key life skills codependents and empaths need to cultivate in order to live a happy life starting now!

1. Don’t Agree to Anything Immediately

When you are a codependent or an empath, your kindness can be taken for weakness, and often is! So, a simple, but effective way to take back your power is to not agree to anything in the moment. Instead, give yourself the luxury of time.

When you change the dynamic of a relationship, you’re actually retraining your brain. And, you’ll need time to develop new neural pathways to reflect this new you.

When someone asks you to do something, buy yourself time. You can respond by saying, “I need to check my calendar, let me get back to you tomorrow.” Then take some time away from the person who asked you. Be mindful of your schedule and reflect on how you feel about the situation. Ask yourself,

• Do I really have time?
• Does it serve my greater purpose?
• Do I want to do it?
• Is it a good use of my energy?
• Do I feel taken advantage of in this situation?

Now that you’ve had the chance to consider your own needs, you can answer honestly. And, if it’s not something you can do, say no. Speak your truth without feeling as though you have to explain. No is a complete sentence.

While you want to help the people in your life, your first responsibility is to yourself. And, if they get angry, be prepared to accept their reaction without getting dragged into an emotionally charged exchange. Another person’s anger at your attempt to care for yourself is simply an indication that the relationship is one-sided.

If you identify as a codependent or empathic person, the dynamics of some of your relationships may inevitably have to change. And, although it can be difficult at first, now is the best time for you to stand up for yourself and establish healthy boundaries!

2. Eliminate Negativity

As an empath and a recovered codependent, I’m mindful about who I spend time with and how I spend my time. So, I made some purposeful choices and this shifted my energy. Here are some helpful ways for you to eliminate the negative and cultivate the positive in your life.

Intentional Interactions

The first thing I did was to change the way I communicated with the people in my life both socially and professionally, as well as in my romantic partnership.

By thinking more deeply about my interactions with others, I began to limit time with certain people and became more selective about how I spent my time. Now, I make an effort to spend time with people who uplift me and I do more of what I love.

Find Balance

There are some key ways you can find harmony in your life and reduce the negativity. For instance, be sure to get enough sleep, hydrate, and care for yourself with healthy, natural foods. These are crucial ways to maintain balance. Without it, you’ll feel tired, resentful, and unhappy. So, get back to basics by nurturing yourself body, mind, and soul.

Practice Gratitude

If you don’t know where to begin and you’re struggling with self-defeating emotions, gratitude is always the answer. Gratitude blocks the negative emotions that destroy your happiness. You cannot feel envy, resentment, or regret and gratitude at the same time because they’re incompatible.

Feelings of gratitude help you engage as an active participant in your life. When you’re grateful, you feel abundant and this multiplies the good things in your life.

Schedule Me Time 

Codependents and empaths need down time in the same way other humans need air. It’s essential to their mental health and even survival. This may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s the reality for a codependent or empath.

Empaths are like energetic sponges, constantly absorbing other people’s emotional pain. Therefore, it’s important that they pursue activities that eliminate negativity and refresh their soul, like practicing yoga, meditating, and getting outdoors!

People who are codependent need time to connect to self. That’s why it’s crucial that they spend time doing what they love. Taking part in any activity that makes you feel more like you is always healing for your soul. So, embark on a passion project, revisit an old hobby, or start something brand new!

Being in the flow of life returns you to the present. And, because you create your future in the present moment, this is exactly how you manifest an abundant, successful, and happy life.

3. Practice Grounding

Grounding, or earthing, is a therapeutic technique in which you participate in activities that reconnect you to the Earth. And, it is an important tool for codependents and empaths. This practice allows you to shed any residual energy that isn’t serving your highest good. The premise is that electrical charges from the earth have positive effects on your health. Reconnecting with the Earth will bring you back to a balanced, neutral state. Earthing therapy also reduces pain, stress, depression, and fatigue.

All you have to do is make direct skin contact with soil, or another conductive surface that’s in direct contact with Earth. The easiest strategy for grounding is to slip off your shoes and take a walk outdoors in a grassy yard, beach, or nearby park.

If spending time outdoors proves challenging due to weather or other circumstances, a popular alternative is using grounding sheets. Grounding sheets connect you to earth’s electrons and naturally regulate your body voltage (mV) to a healthier level. This results in increased energy, improved circulation, better sleep quality, less stress, relief of muscle headaches, and muscle tension.

Codependents and Empaths

If you identify with one or both of these personality types, you can recover and go on to live a happy life and thrive in relationships.

By learning healthy behavior patterns, living intentionally, and making decisions that honor your self worth, you will raise your self-esteem and finally create the reality you deserve!

Skill Set

If you identify with one or both of these personality types, keep reading to learn the skills codependents and empaths need to enjoy healthy relationships with everyone in your life!

• To learn how to set healthy boundaries in relationships, click here.
• For an empaths survival guide, click here.
• To learn how to re-parent your inner child, click here.
• To learn how to trust your feelings as a recovering as a codependent, click here.
• To learn how to survive divorce and thrive in future relationships, click here.
• To learn more about emotional affairs, click here.
• To learn how to stop shrinking yourself to please others, click here.
• To boost self-esteem, click here.
• To build unbreakable mental resilience, click here.
• For better mental health, click here.

I would love to hear about your experiences as a codependent person and/or empath. So, feel free to ask questions, comment about what you’ve been through, or let me know what you think about the strategies I introduced in this article. Have you tried any of them, and how have they worked for you?

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Disclosure: Melissa Damiani is a participant in the Routine Probiotics Program an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to merchant, and the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking amazon.com. Although I only promote products that I love, use, and have confidence in, always do your own research before purchasing any product or service. Read my disclaimer here.